Your hair looks great! Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. I plead the fifth. He sold it to me on his deathbed. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. This does not seem right. Canva. Ive had worse. Pick your struggle. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. Take Your Time. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. 27. That's impossible. 60. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. I never even listen when you tell me them. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. 3. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. Physically? I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! Are you going to marry me? How do you usually respond to the question? [deleted] 5 yr. ago. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. Your secrets are always safe with me. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! Read more about Martin here. Everyone has a different sense of humor. But, they will grow up into a dog. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . Don't Push It Too Far. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. (This line came from the cartoon show. 59. This one is bound to get a laugh. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. I just adore my own company. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. So, how does average sound? Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. This one is a bit long. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. 52. 10. Is my relationship status a joke to you?! I'm alive! You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! 61. What could go wrong? What should I doI like you too much. The music billboard charts got it wrong! Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". Funny as phuck. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. No, they're prison pants. 3. Socioeconomically? I suggest you do a little soul searching. 78. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. Whats with all these questions? Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. . If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. Spiritually? The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. 2. You just have bad luck at thinking. Your email address will not be published. Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Financially? I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. 1. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. 29. Youre free to go. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. How are you? I hope you are at your best too. Did someone leave your cage open? Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. 24. 53. 66. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . 74. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. "Hey You, I'm really good. Learn more about us here. (Explained). 55. Feeling confident? 6. Because if you are, youre doing it right. 15. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. How did you get here? Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. Finnish with this conversation! I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Scroll down! If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? I'm afraid I can't do that. 2. 1. 11. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. Required fields are marked *. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . 15. Are you Jamaican? I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. . Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. Hanging on. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. I always root for the little guy. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Stupidity isnt a crime. The following two tabs change content below. Congratulations, sir. Youre not as bad as everyone says. . 10. That's boyfriend material. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. It's Okay. 16. A real low-life. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." 3. What do you mean Im still single. 9. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 You speak as if youre not single yourself! Hopefully, youll stay there. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! Don Draper? 2. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. - Anonymous. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. I dont know. funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types Maybe you can Google it. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Want to equip yourself with more responses? This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. Cookie Notice No, I'm Finnish. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? Not. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. I havent met the right one yet. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. Not sure why you're asking me my age. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. 1. 16. You may join me, though. Thats because Im still waiting for you. Its going great, really! Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. 5. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. Thank you Fred. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. 2. What to say when your crush asks how you are? [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. 25. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. 22. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. 43. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. Nice outfit. 79. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. 3. 13. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. *licks lips*. 4. (perfect for vegans). On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? Spiritually? If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". 51. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. 2. Hey, whered you get that nose? But, whats the likelihood of that happening? You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. Have you been thinking? 12. 98. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. Mentally? Boom. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. 47. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. Follow for more funny content!! Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. WHY!? 48. I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. 1. Reply. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. Socioeconomically? Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. | Are you surviving? I will leave that up to your imagination. Im single by choice. Youll go far someday. 1. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. 5. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. I repeat I am plural! [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? Well, are you? I am not sure what you mean. 63. I only fall in love with anime characters. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. What's your sign? Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. Sorry, life. Oh, well 8. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. So much better than most people. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. I'm happy! Happy, and I know it. Some people spend all their time on their phone. 70. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. 1. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Yup, I dont share it. Maybe I am a kindergartner? What do you say when people ask you that? Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Congrats, guys! (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. Hi! Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are Living an amazing dream. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. 6. Then you die. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. You a cop? Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? We cant always get what we want now, can we? In fact, they're taking too much of it. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. Now you can be! She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". No, not really. Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. Living the dream! I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. It can be good to just say it how it is. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. 99. The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. Average, I think, that sounds about right. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. 65. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. "Yeah, you're three years late. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. Liked what you just read? Im too expensive. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. 5. Are you flirting with me right now? Your hair looks great! Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Could be payday. No? It could always have been worse. 14. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. provided, of course, that he really is dead." 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! I agree, thanks for sharing. I'm wondering how you are. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. 88. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! "Any day above ground is a good day. I always yawn when Im interested. Hmmph. Because youre highly qualified. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. and our Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. 83. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. The best I can be. You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. A little bit worse now that youve asked. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Hello, how are you? So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? What? 97. Someone took their costume way too seriously. You were a young man when you last spoke. 4. You don't need to say it. Everything is always better on payday right!? It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. Totally fine! Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha.
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