All Im saying is that if you want to get better, you should start reading these books right now. She has also began lying, eg i found out she was seeing a counsellor, she said they were actually friends, but I have seen she has been paying her fees on her bank statements. Best! As the spouse of a narcissist, I am the one with the problemthe one who is too sensitive, the one who cannot take a joke. Hi Cassie Everyone keeps saying mid life crisis. Whether you broke up with them or they broke up with you, a breakup can leave you feeling heartbroken. Ill never ever love again. Her dad used to financially bail her out and her mum often was overbearing and smothered her. Turns out it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Why put everybody through all this again if you cant be bothered to truly try and put in effort. When I have been upset and called to to him he has been very cold and mean.telling me he hated being in a relationship with hated being a family and so on. With only being a year apart. and I dont know what to do. I may not even want him back after all. She is such a loving person always called him to say hi. I only found out because I found an email n so I emailed her. She threatened the same thing back in 2006 but begged to come back when I called her on it. There is no shame in seeking professional support from a counselor or therapist if you need or want it; help is available. Im sure they wouldnt like knowing she abandoned her kids. My wife told me we had to go to artiste counseling. I am going through it myself. Keep my job but end up with neither my children or my love or move else where I can at least survive and see my kids seldomly and be with the person who makes me happy. Seems he mailed her interior vibrators to enhance their sessions. "It's impossible to please you.". Unfortunately, theres little we can do about that. This is what divorce looks like after 50 years of marriage - New York Post Just sad. I feel like i will never get over it and I know there is more heartache to come. Read what happens when a) they loose their job. We are either a family all the time or we wont be at all. The sudden realization sets in: my husband left me. Feeling an onslaught of negative emotions may make you want to reach for things that can immediately make you feel better. That over the life of our marriage, the effects of my early traumas (that were left un-touched and that went unnoticed by even myself) caused the very values that attracted her to me or me to her had changed so much and that she must have been in so much pain herself, that she did what she did to herself, and to me. If he truly loves you and wants this marriage to work he will do what it takes. Shell be fine, but I will be a mess. This is a way to avoid your hurt and not deal with your emotional health. I worker steady nights for 27 years. I later found out she moved into the house her male boss was selling. it looks as if your man is suffering from mental health issues. They started talking all the time. Im still learning as I grow with Noah. My cousins came with wine and food almost every weekend after the break-up. Rediscover that now. Sorry this might not be what you want to hear but you have to think of your self do not sacrifice yourself fill yourself up love yourself hold your Their best advice was for me to just get pregnant., My husband left me after going into a depression. I still would. Since he can just drop us like taking out the garbage. If its being away from me, then I have no choice but to deal with this sadness. I just wish I could hit fast forward. A homeowner was coming over to car to see if everything was okay and my son grabbed bottle and stuffed it between the seat she was out of it and managed to get back to the house where my son wanted to go home. I have no idea what she is doing or who she is with, it is wrenching my heart, we have been married 25 years and have a 24yr old son together. Just focus on those kids and how you can better yourself for them and you. May God bless us with someone who really loves us and cares about us. Its been hard. Hi l married my husband about 12yrs ago we had split for about 8yrs and just 3months he popped back in the picture. Please open up and share so others can help you. Trust and believe Carma is on its way. And thats not good because he wont want to be with anyone who cant keep her self-respect. I really dont know what to do. Rather than an excess of painful emotion, it was the lack of pain, the lack of feeling, that was the . Thanks for your response. I found that he had taken my key out of my purse for the car. I loved him dearly and I still do, I had resentment built up because he didnt always treat me the best. We got a house then tried for another baby. OConnor P, et al. And he just does not get it. I do find these are the main reasons for divorce. I have never felt so humiliated in all my life. Ive lost my wife, best friend, kids as Im not in a state to see them and daily fatherly contCt. I miss the small talk. The trust we had is gone. I still love her since I said I do. I feel very sad this happened to you but if she is leaving so quick without giving you a fair chance she may just be a self-centered person. I would of course have to impose new rules to our relationship after finding out that shes been deceiving everyone, but I would give her a second chance. I have no ideas that will provide you comfort. I am so truly heartbroken. What the heck am I supposed to do now. It feels like I have been blind sided, she didnt even give us a try to work it out. No they will not. and there is hope. I reached out to her parents for support. How he just had a change of heart with no care in the world. All you have to do is think about the things youre good at and all the times youve helped others. My wife wanting me to be happy is tormenting. I guess they been talking about kids were emotions came back and he told me that not to hate him but he had to go cuz he want to be with his kids and I found text from her saying hi babe I miss you. They might cry a lot more often unexpectedly. Noah loves his Dad and we have always maintained a civil relationship for his sake. 7 Things You Should Never Expect From a Narcissistic Husband I am so sorry for you. 4. Then in 2014 it got really bad . 5 years ago I started to discover and figure out that my wife was a substance abuser,drug addict with prescription meds, narssasis, pathological liar. Your not the only one Focus on yourself and kids. One thing lead to another then we had sex. Im not a dumb guy, I swear it. Forgiveness is a choice, and when you make the decision and act on it, the feelings will eventually be there. We had our time coming our kids are bigger so we only had a couple months ago before they were at the house. Its hard to think about hurting the kids but its his decision to not work on the marriage hes not happy anymore. Trying to force him to love you again is a waste of time because thats not how love works. Another helpful tip we have for you is to read self-help books. We had a great time but never had sex. What part of the country are you in? I caught her in an affair with a coworker and then found out she slept with my friend in my own home while I was asleep. There are many of us going through the same thing and you have a support network of people to reach out to for coffee, chats, friendships, even just to read stories and ask questions or know you are doing a great job. Dont let me suffer too long. He kept telling me he had to wrk 24 he shifts at a warehouse but when I asked where the warehouse was he wud gt defensive n angry so everythin started to make sense. It makes it easier to reach this point again. And now the most important step you can take in your journey to get over your husband: I know its hard, but you have to realize that it might be over between the two of you. My wife left 11/15/15. I know for my own good I will have to pick up my shattered heart and live as if it never happened. I dont know how you rip it apart and then walk away like nothings wrong. Now she was gone two weeks and something was different. No point of taking her back at all cuz if u do she will do it again. What did you do to cause her to leave? The devil has taken him or her over but it is up to you to be the bigger person and fight through it. Protect yourself. The important thing here is that you find someone who can make you feel good again. Then I found out she was getting more meds from a dentist at times . Please seek help for yourself to support you through this process. I love him but Im so angry at him for leaving us. Cant stop crying and hate being alone for even 1 hour. His perspective is that he tried to be emotionally connected over and over only to be disappointed by my lack of response to his reaching out. He works with her and finds her intellectually stimulating. You can keep your self-esteem high by working on yourself and becoming more confident. There are other ways of finding things out, but that all depends on which boundaries you are willing to cross. I dont know if anyone will ever love me again! He was my rock. My wife and i have been married for 4 years and together for 5. Two blows in one go. I just served him with divorce papers yesterday. We both came from dust and we shall return to dust. It is the little daily things that make life worth living and I know how to put you in the right perspective. To date a boss behind ur back smh Thats the lowest a person can go. 10 year rule as a military spouse. I hope things are going a little better. This may help resolve the issue. Just worry about yourself. I am still here. He hasnt come home in over two months. First of all,thank you for sharing your story. Im surprised falling out of love is listed as one of the reasons. I didnt need someone to be whole. I dont know how to feel. You can imagine how amazed I was at this concept coming from a male (not being sexist or anything!). I just want to leave and not hurt him to bad. He is compleyley taken care of and just because I can not work to earn my money he says its not mine . Move on and dont look back you deserve better then that some times broken glass need to stay broke dont try to fix it sweep it up and throw it away GOD is gonna put your soul mate right in front of you bless you and Carrie on you dont need that to be in contact in front of your children.its her lost dont take her back eitherthen she win. Rachel, you are the exact same age as me and my husband is the same age as yours. I have faith in you and hopefully me reaching out will help show while there is real evil, there is real good in the world. ! Sign the SBP, 10 yr rule for half his retirement and get your cs and alimony. She tells me she could make it work with him, just to be back in her girls lives and back in her siblings lives in some way. How are you feeling today? That which works against you actualy works for you. If he was the man for me he wouldnt of left me. My youngest is only five. My x married her affair partner within the allowed 60 days of our divorce finalized. Please keep sharing your common senseok, so my wife of 25 years just abandoned me, posioned my boys (18 & 21) and took the dogand my (deceased) mothers piano. You will overcome this! I think its midlife crisis. It does feel a little less horrible to know that were not all alone. I come from a family of strong people. I feel invisible again. I will pray for you and just take it one day at a time and get up everyday with a plan Go to the gym to tske out your anger, watch movies to get out of your painful world for awhile. Her head kept onto the tear-soaked pillow feels like bursting with pain while she thinks about why her husband left her for another woman. It wasnt until I became a single parent that I really began to understand how much of a taboo subject it still is. Honor yourself and keep your integrity through this process. But as soon as the girls are home. So because he wanted to embark on a full sexual relationship with his affair partner, he left the very next day and moved to a different city. 3. He says he loves me very much but is not in love with me I am devastated feel like Im dying inside. I kiss a picture of us as a family every night, kiss the wedding rings she left and wish on a star for us as a family. Spousal Abandonment Syndrome | Marriage.com They got a place July 3. 'My husband left me after going into a depression. He just kept saying This just didnt happen in my family. When Depressed Husbands Refuse Help. My wife started suffering from post partem depression around his first birthday and I have been watching her slowly recede into herself over the last 9 months. The older teen will be an adult in just over a year and I am hoping her role as caregiver does not distract her from studies or delay college. Im shutting down. Thank you I needed to hear this because my relationship is in trouble and Im so in love with him, Uvette It caused me to have a heart attack, literally. Didnt call, nor would he discuss our situation in email. We both work but I always brought home more income. This is what she wants. But, at the same time I have been for so many years, and still am, the focus of so much of her hate, scorn, and malice I really dont want live with that type of negativity one more day than I have to I am not a therapist. That stayed off the booze with your love and support then started to lie and drink because theyre bipolar. Just know you are not alone. Because he worked full time he told me that from Monday to Friday he was unavailable and so I was alone doing it all . Sadly we lost him which was devastating then two weeks later got married (already planned) then quickly found out we had a daughter on the way. Wishing you the best, Pray, Give it to God and keep Faith. If a man is wondering, looking, you can almost bet he is cheating. As far as how your feeling, its the worst. b) they get sick c) you are unfortunate enough to owe them money ( or as they think, owe them a life ) what happens to a child or sibling of one as they grow older. All that matters is that they make you feel good inside. Do not allow someone to ever make you feel less or wrong. This has to be an affair right? She told me she was leaving, that she had been unhappy for about a month, and that she needed to figure out who she was, saying that because she hadnt really been single for a lengthy period since she was 18 (shes 22 now) she based her individuality on her relationship. On a recent vacation she screamed at a elderly relative proclaiming them evil for drinking a glass of wine. Trust me, I know how hard it can be to stay strong when youre sad and heartbroken. My Husband Left Me: What Do I Do Now? - PairedLife He said he would always love me but that I just wasnt able to forget the past. Do not let what God has put together be destroyed by a man/woman or their actions. Respond to me let me know how youre doing :). He wants to have a better paying job, to provide for us better, and he cant seem to do that having us here, so he is sending me, along with our daughter, and my 2 sons packing. . (2018). I suspect someone else has caught his attention. Dick Masterson speaks the TRUTH. The mediator couldnt understand why we were getting divorced. Me if I did nothing then to love him.I asked him to tell me the truth and he said he was confused that loved me but he also had feelings again for her. The message is so strong and clear when there is infidelity . She ruined mothers day after I bought her gifts and took her out. My take, my experience, the one who cheated and left wasnt as committed Hello all im still Jon.and yes Im still sad and miserable and confused and lonely.. Its so weird! If you had make a big mistake and dont know how to fix it, your friend or family member will be able to help you figure out what you did wrong. With my entire heart and soul, I love her. Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. If youve been through a lot of bad stuff with your husband, you might feel like you want to hold a grudge against him. (Poetic) Most importantly very little if no bias. Nah Im good thanks, I can and will survive this, besides I had a few hours sleep last night. I will not lie to you, this will not be easy, but I can promise YOU WILL feel relief from staying true to yourself. Yea, meeting otherpeople may be fun for a little while, but coming home to someone who knows you inside out is un-irreplaceable. I asked her to leave after smashing a coffee cup and a lamp. But really, act like your all shocked and surprised? Confessions of a man: "How menopause ended my marriage and what I He is on disability because of multiple chemical sensitivity. I sleep and eat baflt. And if she cant see that its her loss. He said it shouldnt be more than 2 hours. ..u have given me strength. Instead of moving on and doing whats best for themselves, they take out all their anger and sadness on anyone who will listen to them. None of these are what God intended for marriage. My husbanda and u got married at a very young age, I was 20 and he was 23. You may never get the answer you are looking for from your partner, but there are several common reasons why someone leaves a relationship. So, i had to ask my family for money. Straamy2 where are you from? Believe, shell want you back. I cry more for my son who looks confused and thinks when Im on the phone its daddy. And our fights now revolve around not having sex. You can follow her on Instagram here. Is it Your Partner or Your Mental Health Condition? Here's How to Know