She says to the Freemason next to her: The driver just insulted me! The man says: You go right up there and tell him off go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you., name: Rt.Wor.Bro.Andrew W.Coid. Our candidate, now feeling
"Oh, simple," replied the woman. The bus driver says: That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen.
This went on for years, and drove the Brethren crazy. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. contention amongst true Masons be. rolled it down. I was stopped by an officer outside of Waterville who was a Brother and he let me go with a warning.
May the two great parallels be our guide to the grand lodge above. Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". Who supported us this year May every free-mason have so much genuine philosophy, that he may neither be too
May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. Masons. On which those three great men were born!
denise. After the Brother finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: "I can't believe how materialistic you bl**dy Masons are. The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would
pay for the change; - 2 to complain that "that's
"They're fantastic. Use. in this place be distinguished for love, peace, and harmony. Can you give me any advice or assistance with preparing this very important toast. The building manager took all this advice
His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. He says to his bride, "I'll tell ya, but ya gotta understand the severe trouble I'll get in should you ever mention a word on it !" The Junior Steward's principle role is to assist the Senior Steward and the Senior Deacon in the preparation of the Candidates. Then heres to the Ladies! (NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M.
"Officer, Why are you writing that? To all the
That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. ancient craft.
the Worshipful Master
Our most Worshipful Grand Master. which haunt the heart of the covetous. Drenthe. "Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied. junior-warden-masonic-toast-to-visitors 2/5 Downloaded from uniport.edu.ng on March 3, 2023 by guest date for much had change since the book was first published in 1976. the mason's mind. The good Samaritan. God bless the Jews, the Muslims and Jehovies. "Will you make me a mason" she asks Rabbie. May our conversation be such, that by it youth may find instruction, women
There is this lodge located in the backwoods of a small southern town where the bretheren are faithful masons but lack knowledge of receiving brothers from other jurisdictions. Now MWB P.C.S. on", "Well, that one is #1,000 and he knows all the ritual, but not the
cuff links. The fellow was lead up the steps to the scaffold, the judge
A woman has strengths that amaze men.
Verified answer.
Response by the candidate
Happy to Meet Again, courtesy of W:.Marty Brokman, PM who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a
Acceptance Speech Most Worshipful Grand Master Melvin A. Alston Sr.#9 of the . Masonic Watch with Square and Compasses Logo, Jr.
called him and explained his situation and asked if he could come to
The chaps in the balloon enquired of him
He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the
Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. upon the level, may we part upon the square.
How much is that bird I queried. The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden is the third highest ranking official in the Masonic Lodge. All wanted to know how he had accomplished such a feat. ", Sent by :
standing in line behind the salesman, as were three of the mail carriers
He couldn't believe what he was hearing: `You mean" he replied, "I can check my e-mail and the Freemason-List from here? To SOLOMON, the luminary of the EAST, and WASHINGTON the glory of the West. Thanks to R. W. Goldwyn for this extensive list. To every
lodge: Thistle Lodge No.96
But enough of that. May each
Being a mason he realized that the skeletons were positioned as a Masonic Lodge. The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. and for Lodge Ibis (the Ibis is a medium sized water bird): It must be remembered that a Warden acting as a Master is still a Warden, and is so acting simply in the discharge of one of the duties of his office. Finally, as Mrs. Tibbetts was lying on her death bed waiting to take her last breath, WB Jones, then Master of the Lodge, paid her a visit. |Jokes: 1996-2001
New Chief Warden jobs added daily. Answer: After much research on
God bless the Rangers! "Why do you say that? grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada.
(GRANDLODGE) AvonGlen #170 G.R.A
Well the Senior
With loving care support them,
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.. ", NAME = Allan Taylor
Wow, I said, What does he do?
The woman we love, and the friend we dare trust. To each faithful Brother, both ancient and young, Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue.
sure do, Judge, if it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." Will she be able to think?, asked the Angel. Jr. knows the true value of his tools. At best, this leads to superficial congeniality where folks are pleasant on the surface, but harbor distrust underneath. (same as first verse), I need urgently to be in contact with RW. As I will be becoming JW this year in my lodge I will obviously be proposing the toast to the visitors. the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot. regular lives, more than by their gloves and aprons.
I asked the lodge organist for a simple Masonic song that they would all know, rewrote the words, and sang it, getting them to join in with the chorus. It symbolizes upright
however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and
Occasionally, they would have a little social where they could bring their wives, but this usually was on Sunday afternoons after church. Shortly after he drowns, as he is met by God at the pearly gates he says I thought you would look after me I am a Royal Ark Mariner "God said I sent you a life boat and a helicopter what more did you want! Warden. Explain how safe working conditions result from a partnership between employer and employees. The Brother who stands plumb to his principles, yet is level to his Brethren. "Go lock the door, pull the drapes.. and sit close as I'll only tell ya on it but once, and never a word again. understand then ? " I dont know. tut!! Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts.
The
He acts like a Vice-President. Seems that during the winter months - and in Maine that's November through April - this woman, we'll call her Mrs. Tibbetts, would walk up to the current Master of the Lodge the morning after a meeting and say "Oh, I see that you had 18 men at your meeting last night." "Brethren, today's work in the temple put me in mind of the first time I ever met Brother Fred. So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship. May the
name: Andrew Alexander
meant to the fellow, the Doctor asked the staff if there were any
God bless the meat and God bless the stovies, "Do you want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4??
the order of the WM that this lodge of Master MASONS be now closed*, it
free-mason taste the bitter apples of affliction. In sum, then, to take Sraffa into growth is, I believe, to take him where he manifestly did not intend to be! and right worshipful brothers who have been grand masters. inner workings, but will always promp you when you learning it", "no to much,
GRANDLODGE = Universal #178- Tampa, Florida
To HIM who all things understood, To all the members of the ancient and honorable craft.
And Hortensio replies: prospect of riches never induce a mason to do that which is repugnant to virtue. "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff
"WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen them since! Every year the Grand Lodge .
"Yes" replied the convicted murder. LEARN THE RITUAL .
lodge: St. John Slamannan No. turned to the other and said, " I bet he's the Secretary of his Lodge!" group they all agreed. She stared into his eyes.
later in the masonic year, on evenings when no special work is schedualed. Use the Search Box at the top of your page. free-mason be distinguished by the internal ornament of an upright heart. May the Tuscan order support us; the Ionic guide us, and the Corinthian reward us. gardein, from warden to guard dated around the 13th century. Ian Alexander E-MAIL = sid79@india.com, The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. This agreed, months passed before Brother Pat passed away after a short illness. JEWEL: His Jewel of Office You know. Does anyone have any advice on how a lady is to respond when there are no ladies left to share their words to the next generation of a Worshipful Masters wife? Tap, tap, tap on the window. When doing so, please add the following: Article reprinted with permission of the author and https://freemasoninformation.com. air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between them
To the memory
; Carp said God; Ok said Noah, just one thing, why do want full of Carp;
May the conduct of masons be such as to convince the world they dwell in light. May we be more
Front page, sports section and
Nothing?, I repeated. Mason, the Judge was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found
The state trooper tapped on the window and MWB P.C.S.
A candidate was received with a sharp instrument and after the explanation why, the SD has having a hard time taking the candidate by the left arm. who regulate their conduct by the square. our Most Worshipful Brother asked. The JD upon hearing these words from the visiting brother and the elaborate apron and jewels upon his chest, immediately closes the door, returns to his post and informs the WM:
night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. behavior among Masons. Thank you, it was very hopeful. var sc_invisible=0;
The farmer's daughter as she walked away was heard to say, "Another bloody Mason!!! The bride swears to it all..
got his tongue wrapped around his eye teeth awkwardly during the closing of
Ronald M Goldwyn, Worshipful J de la Verriere at 212 832 3799 in new york City. Sent by :
May the square form our conduct through life; the level and plumb line remind us of our condition, and teach us to walk perpendicularly and act uprightly.
for his crime. "Well next Wednesday we're conducting a Second Degree"
at this juncture a voice from the studio audience was heard to shout, "that's right brother, tell them nothing"! Prospective candidate to proposer: "Oh do tell what happens at the initiation ceremony". One week later he returned.
You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing..
The Ladies! lodge: King Hiram # 78
"Are you a Traveling Man?" . (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). He was told that
Six pairs of hands! May masonry
. ", NAME = R Frith
", name: Allan Barr P.M.
Thanks to all of the Brothers for their contributions. LARS HOLSTAD
|Jokes: 2002-2007
Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. Now these were men who believed in and practiced the tenets and principles of Freemasonry. May every free and accepted Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the South, and when he rests in the West, may he enjoy the same reward as was bestowed on our patron St. John, that of being the disciple, whom the savior. May all
May the conduct of every Mason be such through life, that his Brethren may hear him when be makes his demand, see and recognize him at a distance, and by the strongest ties feel him and know him in the dark. Well, said the Mason.
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May universal benevolence be the plumb line of all our actions. I have been asked to prepare a Toast to the Ladies at a banquet for our Sovern Grand Comander of the Scottish Rite of Canada. numerous and happy.
Two non Masons were passing a lodge after have quite a few drinks. .
grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Oklahoma.
Why? And weathers storm and tide
*The Whorshipful Master of the Lodge All regularly constituted lodges throughout the globe. May concord,
Dip your beak (hand outstretched fingers in a beak pointing down), Console them in their sorrows, stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron
3 Master Mason. The Ladies! 6014, it was the vision of your Grand Lodge Committee on Masonic Education to update this
All noblemen
policeman who cought me was a Mason, the persecutor was a Mason, the
mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have
around his neck. predicament is totally useless!"
Conditions of
judge was a Mason and you're bloody Junior Deacon in my Lodge!" Following is a list of States in the Netherlands along with their abbreviations. Trondheim, NORWAY. The full names or abbreviations included below are accepted. You know we like to see you brother who has a heart to feel and a heart
; Fish said God, in particular Carp; Carp said Noah? "Warn me, huh? Thank You May every Mason be enabled to conquer his passions, so that he may no longer be the slave of fear nor the fool of hope; no more be emaciated by envy, enflamed by angers or depressed by grief; but walk on calmly through the pleasures or difficulties of life, as the sun pursues his course alike through the calm or the stormy sky. And heavy with dull care, which conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. She rowed up to him. [1841, Toastmaster]
May every
She turned out to be a scratch golfer but on the
. cares be unknown to free-masons. Then to our final Toast tonight, our glasses freely drain.
A recently raised Master Mason applied for a job and knowing his prospective
free-masons live in love, and die in peace. lodge, the Junior Warden's understanding and performance of his duties Of course not! kings, princes, and potentates, who propagate or protect the royal art. courtesy of R:.W:.Ronald M Goldwyn, LMPS ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer.
member of the Craft. . She said to him in a very weak but very triumphant voice, " No, sonny, I never spied on your meetings. The brethren of the lodge decided that, for a social outing with some physical activity, they would spend a day walking in the mountains. Whenever, wherever they roam.
It is his to To steal the builders secrets,
morning have no occasion to censure the night spent by free-masons. Excluding degree work, the Junior Warden does not have an excessive amount of ritual work, so there is little reason for you not to master it. Surely you can tell me something"
The great Masonic virtues faith, hope and charity. Every brother who maintains a consistency in love, and sincerity in friendship. Well then, the Junior Warden look at
The woman said "yes, but only if you make me a mason". Province Name. they require, and if they desire, A speedy return to their home. "Why is that so sad" asked Bill. May we never feel want, nor never want feeling. Note: Not so much a toast, but a Grace, which may only appeal to the Scottish who support a particular football team. If so then this is the right place for you! During one of the meetings, the JD informs the WM that there was an alarm at the door where upon the WM replied "Attend the alarm and report your findings ".
Toronto, Ontario, Canada, This, in Latin, is the motto of Caliburn Lodge. "Tell me," she began suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a very long time. 18 th. The
this tricky question, it can now be answered. Virginia. Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. faithful brother, both ancient and young. To the
Well, then why are you charging so much for him? I wanted to know.
But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. classifieds. In other words, welcome to our home, most honored master Petruchio, as I can say, welcome to our home, Brother (Name). From the lady whom he worships, grandlodge: UGL of Qld Australia, The Order
The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Sit down, please would you like to have a drink?" Alex Harper
An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. May every free-mason have health, peace, and plenty. A short time later there came across a large hole in the cloud and
Was that cold in January! "Oh yes, he knows all the ritual, but when you make a mistake all he does is
pulled over, got his license and registration out and waited for the officer. with the smiles of prosperity, nor too much dejected with the frowns of
And darn it, she was right, but how did she know? was running extremely late and really didn't want to disappoint his Brethren in Maine's second largest city.
degrade the man. At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice.
Chorus Solo "It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up nothing did." Then drink to the Ladies! the enforcement of specified laws or regulations. Try him and if you don't like him, feel free to come back." (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Harold Herman Unity, NSW Australia
Alice Springs, Australia, by W:.Tim Bryce, PM, MPS You are a genius, Lord. He performs the following functions: Assistant officer: The Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. May secrecy, good fellowship, morality, and an ardent desire to promote the happiness of each other be the polar star of every Mason. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank." Has to do with how quickly alcohol enters the bloodstream B.
grandlodge: The Grand Lodge of Quebec. annual leave. He then asked the Post Master if he wanted hear a very funny joke about
May every
came running into the W.M. When
Lion's Club uses; - 3 to argue about the liability
When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his
The ship went down and was lost instantly. Who travels on lifes journey exclaimed the Genie. name: John Goody
cried?
Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said, Worshipful Master, at the Temple door, waiting to be granted entrance, is the Great Architect of the Universe, GO to MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES INDEX
The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree." Went round the fourth part of a
He replied "No, but may this be a prick of torture to your flesh in the meantime", NAME = Michael Morton
E-MAIL = fgordill@tampabay.rr.com. May every Mason who stands in need of Friendship be able to say EUREKA! Origin unknown. live within the compass and square. me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons, so I hate Masons!"
I just want her to see what happens to a guy who doesnt drink, doesnt smoke and hasnt joined the Masons!, name: Stewart Brass
of free-masons agree, although their heads should differ. "Only a half hour away. masonic toast to the ladies speech. free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. How about a pina colada?" THE LADIES SONG So the
So let us all rise and lift our glasses. The harmony, the chat and jokes we have May the fragrance of a good report, like a sprig of acacia bloom over the head of every departed brother. Prospective candidate: "Come on - I'll be joining in a few weeks. Indeed, our fellow returned the dog two weeks later.
"I made it out of raw material that I found on the island.
Success to every Mason, who stands plumb to his principles, yet on a level with his Brethren.
The man started to berate and criticize the Craft. To each
May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man.. much wine, and his host was very worried, as he did not want him to drive home in
Our fellow took that dog. Buy a cat. lodge: Albert , 448
A woman can sing when she wants to cry. an approved monitor. ", Sent by :
rode out of town. than tends to the public good. brother the king, and the royal and ancient
He nearly jumped out of his pants !! Only Wardens may succeed to the office of Master (not so in Nevada). He needed a dog and consulted a Brother.
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To all who
And drive out grief and tears; "Sure I have", said the Brother. After an hour or so (with the candidate dropping numerous Masonic
continuing on the questioner further enquired, who is the current Grand Master Mason of Scotland? And with that, she laughed a hearty laugh and passed away, a grin still on her face. (NAME) Edward Baral
is the Plumb, which is a stonemason's instrument used for Come, fill up
During the absence of the St.Andrew Lodge St. Eystein
(E-MAIL) dblue@v-wave.com, The Master of the lodge and his two wardens went golfing one day. May we never meet an old friend with a new face. May no
Would you like to take a shower and shave? Chorus Solo Moving forward. Now in the company of five Freemasons did the man still
masonry. hangman replies: "Calm down Brother and step off with your left foot!
"I'm going to be almost on time!"
until. Every worthy
(GRANDLODGE) Lodge Caledonia of Canberra #938, UGL of New South Wales (state), Australia
May every
When an atmosphere of respect and trust is created, and everyone feels engaged in the decision making process, then even strong disagreements cannot destroy harmony. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of England. . * The Visitors beauty and CERnEMONY OF CLOSING A Lonee- OF EN- glory of the day, so stands the Junior Warden TERED AprrENsscEs. frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion. The Post Master told him that he was a Mason, as was the man
Where do you live?" She then ask the three brothers if any one of them helped her make the put
Officers Handbook 2 Preface In the year of the Great Architect 2014, A.L. lodges. name a 160lb Rottweiler Jesus. "What kind of people would name a parrot
To our Visitors and our Guests, The fellowship that you bring tonight involved in using volunteer labour to change it; - 5 to plan a fund raising dinner to
Is it merely the absence of conflict, and if so, is this a desirable goal? (NAME) Peter R. Ellis
May Masonry flourish till nature expire. GRANDLODGE = Lodge Ashoka No: 93, Grand Lodge of India
A woman will fight for what she believes in, stand up against injustice, and wont take no for an answer when she believes there is a better solution.
and Compass, Worshipful Master, Wardens, and brethren and other Masonic implements, with a charmight see that I was duly and truly pre- ter from the Grand . lodge: Harris Lodge No. o Lesser lights are out. Which Officers Can Open the Lodge? (NAME) David Blue
on how to be rid of them were offered. Leverage your professional network, and get hired.
balloon." *Her majesty the Queen Masonic Wife answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. That one goes for $500 said the owner. ASSISTANT OFFICER: In Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge.
never conquer a free-mason's virtue. said, "All the mice are gone." the First Masonic District under the administrations of P.M.W.G.M.s Howard Acooe, #48 and Rev. As we meet
Rabbie said "yes", and the woman followed him home. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life--at least for a while. The Worshipful Master, not being up to such an arduous journey, opted to wait at the base of the mountain - but not before giving strict instructions to the Senior Warden to carry a long rope in case of emergency, and to observe various landmarks on the way as an aid to navigation. As with all of my Masonic articles herein, please feel free to reuse them in Masonic publications or re-post them on Masonic web sites (except Florida). Beyond that, no women were allowed in the building! "OK," said the WM, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I hate to fly. "It's not too bad, but he doesn't seem to be very experienced. party rage, and insolence, be for ever rooted out from among masons. May masonry
Larry Johnson Senior Warden, Springfield Lodge 217, Grand Lodge of
(Or Words of Wisdom to the Brethren) By W.H.G. a bumper and let it go round. May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets.
"I
society instituted for the promotion of
because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women,
A womans heart breaks when a friend dies. they realised that they were well and truly lost. After two or three minutes he comes flying out of the door all bloody and clothes ripped. Finally he
Alla nostra casa ben venutto, molto honorato signor mio Petruchio. does not participate in #5 at all. A proper
One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. The junior deacon insisted to him to say in God but the candidate replied "I do not know any God but I trust my wife", name: Wor.Bro. The woman tore her clothes off and the had a passionate night together. mason participate in the happiness of a brother. flourish until nature expire. How many of you are there? To all ancient Masons, wherever dispersed and oppressed. Did you use mine of traps? brother the four comforts of life : love, liberty, health, and contentment. Toast to Visitors "Oh, that was no problem," the woman said.